Uncertainty

I seem to be filled with uncertainty these days. Uncertainty when it comes to my writing, that is. No matter what I try to do, the words just appear to be caught up inside me and I do not know what to do to retrieve them.

This is a new experience for me. I used to be able to simply think of a word and have an article written within minutes of that thought. But now, my cursor just blinks at me. Taunting me to make it move across the page. Every word is a victory; every sentence is a triumph.

I am determined that I will not be defeated in this writing arena. I will get the best of the enemy that thwarts my attempts at creativity. Through Jesus Christ, I can do all things. (Philippians 4:13) God always causes me to triumph. (2 Corinthians 2:14) So I cannot just say that I can no longer write. For the Lord gives me the grace that I need to do whatever is necessary for me to accomplish. All that I must do is yield myself to the Holy Spirit and let Him do in and through me His work.

I do not know the purposes of the Lord. I am not privy to the workings of His Mind. I cannot tell what He is doing at any certain period of time. And I do not know why He is letting me flounder in this sea of uncertainty. All I know is that I trust Him and that in the end, all of the grief that I have endured this year when it comes to my writing, or the lack thereof, will be worth it all.

As I sit here typing these words, I feel a sense of peace and of strength welling up within me. For the Lord has stood up inside me and I am going in the strength of His might and not in my own abilities. For when we rely on our own efforts, we fall short of the glory of God. But when we trust in the Lord, our resources are limitless and the sky is the limit. In truth, the sky is not the limit. The universe is not even our boundary. There are NO limits when one puts one’s hope in God. There is nothing that we undertake that we are unable to do.

Who says that I cannot write? sstupid ssatan, that’s who. And who is he? He is one who was defeated royally over two thousand years ago. He is nothing but a rotten liar. And anyone who is foolish enough to listen to him is bound for a life of misery. I will not acknowledge the enemy. I will simply rebuke Him in the Name of Jesus and go on to write, this article as well as my book.

I encourage you to go for your dreams. No matter how difficult it may be in order to accomplish them. I won’t let a period of writer’s block keep me from doing the job for which I am called. I will just punch through the wall and will find myself on the other side before long. If dreams were easy, everyone would be following them. Go after what you want! If you persevere and rely upon the Lord, what you seek you will find! Nothing is impossible with God. Absolutely nothing. Remember that.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

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What is Your Calling?

I have spent some time of late contemplating my calling. I am a writer and I am one who encourages people. I have always been an encourager. Shall I say that I am a writer who uplifts others? I think so. So, what do I do with this “calling”?

I have had many people tell me that I am meant to write a book about my life and whenever they read one of my blog postings, I am asked, “So, when are you going to write that book!” But I have suffered much and to write about suffering necessitates that I emerge myself within the pain and I find that a difficult thing to do. I have started my book, yet I hesitate to go any further because the anguish that I feel when I open up the “book” of my life makes it hard to continue pouring words onto the pages of my word processor. I want to tell my story because I know that to do so will help many people. Moreover, it will bring healing. Hence, I hesitate.

I must confess that there is a part of me that wonders if I am a good enough writer to pull off such a project. That is the artist in me speaking. For, I know that I am a very good writer. An excellent one, in fact. So, what is holding me back? I honestly do not know, other than the fact that my words are shut up inside me whenever I attempt to write on my manuscript. There are so many things in my life that I have been through that do not know where to begin or, better yet, to continue from where I have already begun.

Okay, this is where I need the encourager part of my personality to come forth. This is where I need to tell myself that I can DO this! Because I can. And for the sake of those that I want to assist, I must. I have to feel the pain and go forward, anyway. If I do not, I will be doing a disservice to the world, as no suffering is without its benefits. If I do not move forward, the pain will win and I am not about to allow anguish to have the last word.

The Lord took all of my suffering and used it to free me from all of my fears. So, what am I afraid of? That is a paradox wherewith I am facing.

What will I do, you wonder? Well, I will do what I have always done. I will write. And I will encourage. That is my calling, remember? Only, I will be encouraging myself. Here goes:

My name is Cassie. I am a writer.

Okay, I am stuck. I am unused to writing encouragement to myself. Thus, I will instead encourage you, thereby sneakily encouraging myself and will therefore achieve the result that I seek. Here goes again:

Hello, there. I hear that you are a writer. I am certain that you are an exceptional one and I am sure that your writing will inspire the masses. Don’t allow anything to keep you from writing. There is no such thing as writer’s block. All you have to do is write your way out of the wall that is before you. If you don’t know what to write, simply write about the fact that you do not know what to write about and you will have an article right there.

If you are writing about something painful, all that you must do is use the pain. Use it to create word pictures that people will be able to “see.” If you do not know where to start, start anywhere. You will catch up to yourself time enough. If you are afraid, just remind yourself that the Lord has already delivered you from all of your fears through His word and His love.

Wow. That really worked. Encouraging you actually encouraged me and now I know where to go. I am going to go work on my book now. Thank you for listening. It actually helped to hurtle me over the road block that was in the way of my writing. You are amazing!

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Don’t Give Up

I’m stuck. It has been several days since I have written in my blog and I do not know where or how to proceed from here.

I am so full of experiences and feelings that I am clogged up like something stuck in a drain. I have such high expectations when it comes to this blog that I am finding myself falling prey to the writer’s block monster. But I will continue to persevere and in the end, I will have the words to give to my readers. In the meantime, I will simply share to you my frustrations and see where that takes me.

This current blockage reminds me of a time in my life when I was stuck by my circumstances and did not know what to do. I came at the situation from several different angles and it was as though I was behind a humongous brick wall and others were watching my ineffectual efforts and futile attempts to free myself. But it was in the frustration that I found redemption. I kept pecking and pounding at the seemingly impenetrable fortress surrounding me and the more I hit it, the stronger I became. And the stronger I became, the weaker was that wall and cracks began to appear in its surface. Once those cracks surfaced, adrenaline surged within me and I attacked my wall of doubt–for that is what it was, doubt–and it came tumbling down and ended up in a pile around my feet and I walked up the mountain  that was now faith onto the other side. Rays of sunlight caressed my face and the energizing warmth of that orb of light energized me and gave me peace.

This block is a life lesson. And that lesson is this: Don’t give up on life no matter how difficult it may be. Who knows when your efforts will amount to a victory that you had not thought previously possible? I began this post not knowing where to go or what to do and here I am, stimulated and strengthened by the very thing that was an impediment. How ironic life is, full of paradox and shadings. Use what ails you to color outside the box of life. Who knows how many masterpieces lie within each of you?

Be encouraged. You have more within you than you believe. And so do I. There is a winner in you and there is a writer within me. Together, we find our strengths. And we discover that weaknesses aren’t all that bad. Hindrances are only the steppingstones to achieving goals you may have believed to be inconceivable. And isn’t that what truly living is all about in the end? I believe so.

In the end, I found myself within the confines of that wall. Had it not been there, I would not have employed the strategy that ultimately brought me triumph.

Can you see me?

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.