Pain, Life’s Teacher

I find life fascinating. The people in it and the various circumstances that I have found myself. Although I have suffered for most of my life, I still discover a beauty to the grand pageant of nature’s existence that caused me to gasp my breath.

I have always listened to the silence of solitude and have learned the lessons that it has taught me well. One of those teachings has been that life has not been the harbinger of doom that I used to believe that it was because I had been through so much pain and hardship. There is a class and dignity all their own that I would not have discovered had I not been through the sufferings I had endured. For with suffering comes a bridge of glory that only those who have been there comes to know.

When I allowed the pain to teach me instead of beat me, there emerged vitality and vigor within me that surprised me. There was more to me than I thought.

No matter what you are going through, life is still good. I’ve heard it said once that every day above ground is a good day and I hold to that tenet. Every day that we are blessed with another day alive is a blessing not to be squandered, but appreciated. Things may be difficult for you right now, but trust that you will get through it. Our trials and troubles come to pass, they don’t come to stay, although the wait for them to end may seem interminable. Hang in there. It’s going to get better. I know what I am talking about. When I was homeless on the streets of Montana, I was so frightened. But the Lord brought me through that period of my life and I can only thank Him for allowing me to go through it all because I learned many lessons and I gleaned most of all that I am a strong woman full of compassion. That time didn’t break me. It made me. And that is why I believe God allows us to go through hard times. To develop and strengthen our characters and for us to see what we are made of. For us to know that we are stronger,  smarter, and more resilient that we at first believed.

Pain is a perfect equalizer. It does not care about your station in life, or about your bank account. It does not care how many credentials you have. It is an equal opportunity teacher. Yes, I said that pain is a teacher. There is much that suffering and sorrow can train you for, if you will allow them to and do not allow self-defeating behavior like self-pity or bitterness to cloud your view to what suffering is trying to say. Because heartache has much speaking to do in your life if you will do what I do, and that is to embrace it instead of fighting against it. Don’t fight your suffering. Ask yourself and, more importantly, ask God what this particular situation has come to do for you. If you can get past the pain of suffering, you will find gems of wisdom and grace waiting to bless instead of curse. Of course, all suffering seems but a curse when we are experiencing it, but that is not true.

My suffering has made me wiser. It has made me more compassionate. It has taught me how to appreciate the beauty that is life and not to take anything for granted. Those things have made it all worth it. Because I would not have discovered them had I not been through the harrowing and hair-raising circumstances that I have been through. In retrospect, I wouldn’t change a thing. I would not have chosen to be homeless. I would not have picked for my husband to leave me after thirteen years of a grand love affair that would rival the greatest love stories ever told. I would not have signed up for the CFS that ravaged my body for four years, nor for the severe chronic pain that routinely kept me up screaming in torment. But you know what? I would not go back and alter any of those things because they made me the person I am today and that is a pretty fantastic person. And I wouldn’t be the kind of person that can take adversity and tribulation and use them to my advantage. Because I am able to help people who I never would have had the privilege of assisting if I had not had a message of hope.

Hope is what I have gotten the most of from my many years of sorrow and suffering. And hope is a commodity that is missing in this world. This age is filled with pessimistic people without hope, and to be without hope is to be without anything to live for. For it is through hope that we rise like a phoenix and fly another day.

If you have lost your hope, let me assure you that there IS hope. All you have to do is embrace what you are going through instead of complain about it or rail at the fates for bringing it into your life. Our hardships come for two reasons. One is because it is simply part of the pilgrimage of life. And the second reason is this: to make more of you than you ever thought or hoped you could be. So, instead of being angry at your circumstances, take a page out of my book and be grateful  instead. Believe me, if anyone has a reason to be bitter at the fates of life and a “right” to hold onto anguish and rage, it’s me. But that does not get you anywhere and I am of the mindset that I do not do things that waste my time or zap my energy or take away from my spirit. Anger and unforgiveness are two things that do just that. So, my very sage advice to you is to let go and let God.

Give the Lord God your pain. His shoulders are big enough to handle them and to hold onto you at the same time. He specializes in formulating victories where no victory is in sight. He is the God of the impossible. There is nothing He cannot and will not do for you, for He loves you immeasurably. As I’ve said before, I know what I am talking about. I have had a life of sheer hell and the Lord brought me through it all and all I can do is thank Him for it. If you give Him your hurts, you will be saying the same thing. Guaranteed.

Be encouraged

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.


There is Help for You

I find life fascinating. The people in it and the various circumstances that I have found myself. Although I have suffered for most of my life, I still discover a beauty to the grand pageant of nature’s existence that caused me to gasp my breath.

I have always listened to the silence of solitude and have learned the lessons that it has taught me well. One of those teachings has been that life has not been the harbinger of doom that I used to believe that it was because I had been through so much pain and hardship. There is a class and dignity all their own that I would not have discovered had I not been through the sufferings I had endured. For with suffering comes a bridge of glory that only those who have been there comes to know.

When I allowed the pain to teach me instead of beat me, there emerged vitality and vigor for the very things that made me weep. Life is a paradox. What brings sorrow also causes great joy. There came a refreshment of spirit as I let the anguish of soul develop my character. A sharpened character is of great value and more to be sought after than all of the treasures of the earth. Which is why I am grateful that God allowed me to go through all of the hell that I endured because it built me into the woman that I am today. And that woman is strong, compassionate, and knows how to take blows from adversity and affliction. I know how to take a hit and keep right on going. And that is what we all need to know how to do. Take a lickin’ and come back kickin’!

If you are going through any type of hardship in your life, I want you to know that you can make it through it. What you are going through will not last forever. There is a way out of the pain. And that way out is Jesus Christ. He is the One Who has been through precisely what you have, so is able to bring you out. (“For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.” Hebrews 2:18) He has been where you have been. And so have I. I know how it is to suffer, which is why I offer you my support and prayers. Together with the Lord, we will pull you out of your pits of depression and your heartaches and pain. Let us.

Contact me and allow me to pray for you. I promise you that God will lift you up and make you strong. Try me. Try Him.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

satan’s defeat!


There was once a time in my life when I thought that I could never be happy. I went through day after day unhappy in my spirit and I expected things to continue in that vein for the rest of my life. I did what I could to bring some measure of contentment to my heart, but nothing I did alleviated the sorrow that dogged my steps.
I tried self-help books and I listened to motivational speakers and I exercised. I spent many hours at support groups offering cheer and encouragement and that helped for a while, because when you help others that lifts your own spirits as it is better to give than to receive.
I followed the bible’s precepts and commandments and prayed to God for many an hour. I walked Jesus’ footsteps as best I could, yet there was something missing. I continued to be troubled in my soul. I was confused because I had believed that if I followed God, all of my troubles would be over and I would be in a perpetual state of happiness for the rest of my time on the earth. But that was not the case.
For, you see, we have an enemy whose only job is to kill, steal, and to destroy, and that enemy’s name is satan. Just as many of us do not believe that there is no God, there are just as many who do not give credence to the existence of the devil and satan has been using that naivety to do just what he is on this earth to do: kill, steal, and destroy. He hates you and his only aim is to take everything from you that he can and to make you utterly miserable. He is out to destroy you and everything that you care about.
Before I learned about spiritual warfare and the wiles of the devil, I simply thought that I was not meant to be happy. But that deceiver was lying to my mind and I was falling for his lies and schemes hook, line, and sinker. But as I learned about the wiles (that means schemes) of satan, I also learned that I am more than a conqueror through Him that loves me. (“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” Romans 8:37) I also have power over satan and all of his kingdom. (“ Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Luke 10:19)
We do not have to fear satan because greater is He Who is in us than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4) Once I started putting the enemy under my feet, my happiness quotient went through the roof. It was satan all along who had not wanted me to know who I was in Christ so that I would be ignorant of his devices. (“ lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” 2 Corinthians 2:11)
I want you to know that you can be free in Jesus. I want you to know that you can be happy and fulfilled. But that knowledge cannot and will not come from me without a word of warning to you. We have an enemy to contend with. The best news about that is the fact that satan is already defeated. Jesus defeated him on the cross and made an open spectacle of the enemy. We fight a defeated foe. The only thing that satan can defeat us with are deception and lies. As long as you are walking in the truth of the word of God and keeping sin out of your heart and life, satan has absolutely nothing that he can do to defeat you. Sure, he’s going to fight you because that is the snake that he is, but he has already lost the battle. Soon, and very soon, he will be tossed into the lake of fire where he will burn for all eternity. (“And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.” Revelation 20:10) That’s fantastic news, isn’t it? That great deceiver that has been causing all sorts of hell and havoc will finally get his comeuppance and will be tormented night and day forever and ever. That makes me so happy!
You do not have to fear satan. All you have to do is rebuke him in Jesus’ Name and walk in the love and light of the Lord God. The Lord came to heal the brokenhearted and to set the captives free. He came to give us love and peace and joy and He will do just that as you put your trust in Him.
Oh, blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Encouragement for You

Are you feeling a bit discouraged today? Do you need some cheer to help to keep you going? Do you seem as though you are the only person on the planet and no one sees you? Well, let me assure you that you are not alone and that there is Someone out here who cares for you. Someone who sees you.

That Someone is Jesus. Jesus cares about your every heart ache and every tear that you cry. He hurts when you hurt. He is concerned about the things that are on your mind. His heart is tender towards you and He looks upon you with great compassion and limitless love.

I know what I am talking about. I used to live in a world of colossal heartache and despair. I’d felt as though I was the only person on the planet and that I was on the outside of life looking in on all of the hustle and bustle going on around me. I’d felt so lonely. So lonely.

There were many times when I did not know what to do with myself. So, I cried out to the Lord, and you know what? He heard my cries and brought comfort to my heart. (“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)  As a matter of fact, it was only the other day when I was feeling down in my spirit and I called on the Lord and He came to me and wrapped me in His Arms. I could feel His love for me and His tenderness. After that, I felt like Superman! (Or Superwoman, since I am a girl.LOL)

If you are down, I encourage you to contact me and I will pray for you and the Holy Spirit will minister to you through this computer screen or whatever device you are reading this blog from. Jesus is real and wants to give you rest. (“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28) Let Him give you that rest. And let me give you my support. I am here for you. And the Lord is here for you. You don’t have to go it alone. Allow this blog to be a place that you can come to for encouragement and reinforcement. You are worth it.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

You CAN Be Free!

I have some good news. In fact, the news is fantastic. What is that news, you ask? Pull up a chair and I’ll tell you all about it!

Okay, here it is: You can be free. Yup. Yessiree, indeedy! You can be completely free. In your mind, your spirit, and your body. How do I know that, you’re wondering? Because I am one that has been set free in every arena of life. And I mean every one.

I have been abused, raped, molested for years, and suffered from almost forty years of a deep depression that kept me in a pit of great despair. I dealt with severe anxiety that lasted for years and endured major panic attacks that lasted all day and into the nights.

I was bullied all throughout my school years, teased and tormented incessantly, and had the kind of home life that could only be described as horrific. In between the beatings and unending screaming that went on, I lived with a soul-deep loneliness that ate at my spirit and caused me to withdraw from life. I was the poster child for the hopeless and heartbroken. But that all changed through the grace and the love of Jesus Christ.

Yes, I said Jesus Christ. That Name that causes all sorts of emotional outbursts and evil surmising from those who are rebellious towards God and all that He stands for. That Jesus was the One Who healed me from every heartache and pain that I carried throughout my life. (“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4)

You see, I have known and walked with the Lord since I was two years old. He has always been a part of my life. So, why did I have to endure such hardship and suffering all of my life, you ask? I have asked Him that question many times over the years and one day He gave me the answer that silenced that particular query. The Lord told me that I had not been suffering for nothing. He told me that I had been suffering for others. And that knowledge has kept me going even when the going got rough and tough. Because if I can help just one person, all of my years of deprivation and heartache has been worth it all. If you are reading this blog and it is bringing you any encouragement or comfort, all the pain was a prize. A personal trophy that I can hang on my emotional wall of triumphs and accomplishments.

Let me get back to Jesus. As I said, He’s been with me all my life. Through all of the good times and the bad times, He was there. He was sitting right with me as I lived in that vast chasm of depression. He was there when I woke up screaming in the night from nightmares that would curl your hair. He lived with me during the anxiety and walked beside me all the years I thought I would die from the loneliness that dogged my steps. He brought me comfort and counsel. And He took all of my fears from me. One at a time.

He listened to me. (“This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.” Psalm 34:6) There have been numerous instances when I have cried out to God in great distress and pain. More times than I care to count. And God was always there, hearing my pleas and sending me help from His sanctuary.

For I could not have made it this far without the Lord. There is no way that I would have gotten through my life without His grace, love, and power working in my life.  It was Jesus that kept me from taking my life the two times I told my husband that I was going to kill myself and I was going for the rifle that he kept under the bed. It was Jesus that kept me from overdosing on my medication when I told my husband that I wanted to take all of my pills. It was Jesus that kept me company those nights as my broken heart spilled tears while the rest of the world slept.

One by one, the Lord dealt with the giants of fear that had routinely attacked and tormented me. He taught me how to kill those giants myself and I grew in strength and poise as each one fell to the earth as I plunged the blade of my sword into its throat. (I had to climb up their legs, but that was no challenge. I enjoyed sending the suckers to their eternal doom.) God taught me how to fight for my life and, along the way; He also taught me how to be my own best friend. Nowadays, you can’t beat me in cheering me on and talking power talk to my spirit.

Now, onto the good news. You CAN be free. Completely free. From all of your fears. The Lord is no respecter of persons. What He will do for one, He will do for all. For He loves all with a love that far surpasses the ability to tell. I am daily discovering more depths of the love of Jesus Christ for me and it always brings tears to my eyes as I experience just how much I am loved. And He loves YOU precisely the same way.

If you need love, you can find it right here. If you need healing, you can find it right here. If you need deliverance, you can find it right here. If you need encouragement, you can find it right here. If you need the will to live, you can find it right here. If there are giants in your life that need to go down, you have come to the right place. Because this blog is not simply a bunch of nice-sounding words for you to read. The Holy Spirit is here to minister to you right through your computer screen. Between my prayers for you and His dynamic power, you can and you will be set free. All you have to do is ask Him and then trust Him to do it.

I know what I am talking about. My life has been one of great suffering. But I can promise you that there is freedom and liberty in Jesus Christ. I live a life of peace, love, and joy. And it only gets better as I go from strength to strength and from glory to glory.

I encourage you to try Jesus. And if you are a believer and are going through hardship and heartache, let me encourage you by telling you that the Lord is going to deliver you from every single one. That is His promise to you and He cannot lie.

Contact me and allow me to pray for you. I guarantee you that your life will change. I serve the Great Life-Changer.

Be encouraged.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.


I am full of joy at this moment. Why, you ask? Because I have been taking a trip down memory lane and I have discovered all of the various hardships and heartaches that I have endured and with the help of the Lord have gotten over and through them all. Yes, I said them all. I had not believed that I would be able to overcome even a few of the sufferings that I have had to live through, and here I am telling you that the Lord delivered me out of all of the hell. All of it.

I am stronger than I was when I was homeless. Oh, that was a stressful time for me! It was only by the grace of God that I did not stroke out or have a heart attack, I was under that much distress of soul and body. But I have overcome that period of life and I haven’t had to experience any more moments like those in over six years, thanks be to God. But as I stated, I am stronger. I am not the same woman that I was when I was on the streets of Montana with nowhere to go and no one would help me. Instead of feeling as though I am falling apart as I did back then, I feel like the Man of Steel.

I am no longer a victim of depression. I lived with that monster for many, many years and it held me with chains of despair and an ice-cold dread of the future that permeated the very atmosphere I breathed. My feelings were deadened, while at the same time I suffered such acute pain that I just wanted it all to be over. I prayed daily for death to take me and every day I awakened, I hated.

I am no longer a sufferer of CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), that horrible and debilitating illness that leaves you a prisoner within your own body and it makes you pay for every movement you make. I was bedridden 23 hours per day for eight months at one time during the four years I endured the illness.

I no longer wake up screaming from the years of severe chronic pain that ravaged my body. The only reason why I lived through it was because I was still breathing. That’s the only reason. Oh, so many times I thought the pain would kill me. And I prayed that it would. So much so that I was hospitalized twice because I did not feel that I could live one more second with the pain.

I no longer am a semi-frequent flyer to the city’s mental ward. I have been a patient of institutions in Minnesota, Montana, and Iowa for a total of six times in the past nine years. My mind was shattered into a million pieces and the world was a scary place in which to live.

I am no longer a slave to the cigarettes that held me bound for seven years. I had thought that I would be unable to be delivered from those nasty things and that they would eventually kill me.

I could go on and on. But instead, I will just celebrate the victories from the things that I have just been waxing philosophically about.

Let’s start with the homelessness. My precious oldest sister took me into her home and I have lived with her for six years. I have my own room (it’s big,lol), a 50 inch TV in it and I spend many wonderful hours studying the word of God and spending time with Him there.

The Lord delivered me from depression nine years ago. I had a vision from the Lord then. It was so clear. In the vision, there was a big black pit of depression that I had kept falling into. A hand came down from heaven and rolled a big stone over the pit and covered it. It fit perfectly. A voice said to me, “You will never fall into that pit again.” And I never have. And I never had to take another pill for depression, either. I was set free.

God healed me of the CFS in 2012. You can read the miraculous account here. I have not had to deal with the ravages of that disease since then, praise the Lord!

The Lord took the severe chronic pain out of my body seven years ago. He simply took it. One minute I was writhing in pain, and the next I was free. Hallelujah.

The Lord Jesus healed my mind. He put all of the pieces back together and I have lived a life free of mental pain and anguish for over three years now. The inner turmoil is gone.

In two days, it will have been three years since I have smoked a cigarette. The Lord broke the chain of addiction and I haven’t had a craving of any kind for three years. And you wonder why I love Jesus. Who wouldn’t, after all of that deliverance!

If you are suffering with any kind of pain or circumstance that you would like to experience freedom from, I encourage you to contact me and I will personally pray for you. The Lord hears my prayers. He wants you to be free and so do I. You CAN be completely and awesomely free. As in delivered. From EVERY affliction that you have. The Lord promised in His word that He would deliver you from every single one and it is impossible for Him to lie. (“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19)

As the song says, “Put your hand in the Hands of the Man Who stilled the waters.” Let Him still YOUR waters. He’s ready to do it right now.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

The One I Love

I used to believe that I was cursed. I also thought that something was wrong with me because so many things had happened to me that I had not been able to control. As I grew up, those feelings evolved right along with me.
I was used and abused. Downtrodden and down-hearted. Men abused me and women made fun of me because of the way that I looked. Laughed at and ostracized. My life simply was not pleasant by any stretch of the imagination.
I’ve suffered heartaches and pains that would break a spirit and wound the soul. I thought that my life was over. And then I met God.
What can I say about God? I mean, He changed my life. He took a woman who was vulnerable and filled with fears, depression and a broken heart and turned her into one who is fearless and takes on life with gusto and sass. And it’s all because of God.
I want to introduce you to the God that I serve. The One that I love with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Why do I love Him, you ask? Well, who wouldn’t love Someone Who routinely fights for you, never takes His eyes off of you, and keeps the enemy under your feet? One Who loves you so much that He actually sent His only Son to come down here on this filthy earth and die a hideous death so that we might live.
The Father listens to me. He hears me when I cry unto Him. He encourages me and gives me the grace to face any challenge. He cheers me on whenever I am going through difficulties and never ever puts me down. His gentleness has made me great. (“Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.” Psalm 18:35)
How can I help but be hopelessly in love with One Who gives me peace and joy and a love that I have never known and thought that I would only get to experience in heaven?
God has a fantastic sense of humor and is forever making me laugh. (Didn’t know He had a sense of humor, did you?*smile*)
He’s not only here when things are good. He picks me up when I am down and when I am heartbroken, he binds up my wounds and holds me in His Arms. (“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3) Who wouldn’t love a God like Him. And that’s the God that I serve.
I am happy now. My life has fulfillment and contentment. All because of God. Oh, praise His Name. I thank the Lord for my Abba (father).
If you do not know the God that I serve, you do not know what you are missing. But that can be rectified with only a few words. Just give your heart to Him. I promise you that He will give His heart back to you.
Jesus Christ said that no man would come to the Father but by Him. So, invite the Son into your heart and your life will never be the same. Jesus loves you, too. He is the One Who died for you, remember? Never forget that. I never do.
I am loved. Loved beyond measure and without price to me. All I had to do was say yes and my life was forever altered. For the better. Always for the best. I encourage you to discover that love for yourself. You will never regret that decision.
Oh, blessed be the Name of the Lord.