The Lord is good. He is better than good. He has snuck up on me again and has left happiness in His wake. I had not thought that I would know what happiness would feel like for a very long time, but here I am, filled with it to my heart’s rafters.
I was laying in bed and felt complete peace and a warmth that encompassed my entire being. I felt at one with my world and the inhabitants in it.
I have been seeking God more and the subsequent episodes of happiness and peace have been a by-product of that search. The Lord said that we would find Him if we searched for Him with all of our hearts.” And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Je.29:13). So, I have gone on a manhunt, if you will. Only I haven’t been hunting for man. I have been hunting for God like someone seeking out great treasure. And I have been finding the treasures of God and His word. I have been as giddy as a school girl in love with her first beau.
I am aware that there are many people in this world who do not believe that God is real. But I am here to tell you that my life is proof-positive that He not only exists, but He is brilliant. For He has orchestrated the happenstances of my life in such a way that I can only shake my head in wonder of it all. If you would have told me that I would go from homelessness to a state of utter bliss and contentment, I would have told you that you were out of your mind. But that is where I find myself now. I am totally content with my life and would not change a thing in it. Oh, sure, there are certain things that I would not mind having, but they are not things that are paramount to my living a contented life.
Content. Not a word that I would have associated with my existence several years ago. Life was truly difficult and there were times when I wanted that existence to come to an end. But God had plans for me. He had jobs for me to do and this blog is one of those jobs. Only I did not know that then. Back then, I only felt pain. Pain in my body, pain in my soul, and pain in my spirit. The Lord was good to me and took all of that pain and replaced it with peace and love.
My life has been one of great suffering. Most of my life has been suffering personified. I have lost everything that I held dear in life. I have endured excruciating pain in my body that lasted 24 hours a day for five years. I lived with a debilitating illness that left me bedridden 23 hours per day for eight months. That illness lasted for four years until God gave me a miracle and healed me and brought me off of that bedridden state. The list of my life’s suffering is long and agonizing. However, as I have stated in a previous posting, I am so much more than my suffering. I am a woman who has taken a lickin’ and come back kickin’. There is so much more to life than sorrow. In between the strands of heartache are moments of beauty so touching that it stirs the soul.
In this blog, I will be sharing both the suffering and the beauty with you. For both have made me who and what I am. The dichotomy between the two have given me the ability to help others through their own hardships. So, follow me. Follow me as I tell you about the loss of the greatest love I have ever known. The kind of love that is the gist of fairytales. See me as I show you great worth that comes from sorrow and suffering, two of the greatest companions that I have ever known. You will discover your own worth as you walk with me. I guarantee it. So, see me.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.